Pushing Motherhood – a Documentary About Waiting

Sybil and Linda are best friends. They met as dancers — working dancers who toured the world with big name acts, who appeared in TV shows and movies, and produced their own Hollywood titles too. The demands, both physical and otherwise, of such careers left no room for family in these women’s lives.

Until just a few years ago.

~2245 2

Sybil Azur and Linda Cevallos-French directed and produced the documentary “Pushing Motherhood,” which chronicles their late-in-life journeys to get pregnant and start their families. Available only on Vimeo, “Pushing Motherhood” is $3.99 to rent and $9.99 to buy. I was 35 when I had my second and last son, so I was technically considered “Advanced Maternal Age,” but since both of my pregnancies were textbook “normal,” I wondered if I would find this film interesting.

I was riveted.

Both women decided to get married and have babies around the same time – both were older, having delayed family planning until after their careers were well-established. They had waited long enough that their doctors measured their hormone levels even before they tried to conceive, to make sure their eggs were still viable. The tests showed that they were.

But that’s where their experiences began to differ. Sybil and her husband were able to conceive fairly quickly with no medical intervention. Still, the documentary does a very good job of communicating the worry that an older first-time mother experiences, even when things go well. Even younger women in the prime of their fertile years experience that worry, so they will relate to this story, too.

Meanwhile, Linda and her husband, the film’s co-producer and editor Brian French, weren’t having such an easy time of it. They went through artificial insemination, then in vitro fertilization without a successful pregnancy. By now I’ve known many people who have undergone these costly, emotional, and physically taxing processes, but I never knew quite how involved they were until I saw this film. The camera – sometimes handled by Linda herself mid-procedure – captures her shots, her needles, her vials and bottles and syringes. Close up shots of her skin, trying to find a place to inject the daily doses of hormones that are meant to prepare her body for a pregnancy. In the film, Linda is a good sport. I can imagine that her hormonal monster may have gotten left on the cutting room floor, so to speak. If I were Linda, I would certainly make that executive decision. But she does leave in the emotional scenes when she learns from her doctors that not all of the embryos created during the IVF process would be viable, or that she was not indeed pregnant, as she had hoped.

Most of all, what struck me was Linda and Brian’s almost palpable sense of hope. Even as she wept after receiving sad news, Linda remained hopeful. The film gets all the way to the end, and there she is with her big eyes and her bright smile, and her ever-supportive husband.

By then, Sybil has had one baby, and is pregnant with a second. Their stories have diverged. Both women have happy endings, as the viewer learns while the credits roll, but I’ll save the content of that part for you to experience if you watch the film.

“Pushing Motherhood” also includes interviews with other women who waited until they were older to try to have babies and doctors who help these women conceive, and facts that flash on the screen to educate the viewer about just how hard it is to get pregnant when you are older than 35, and why. That so many of the women didn’t expect it to be difficult to conceive is surprising to me, considering all the people I know in my life who have had similar troubles. But we all think we’ll be the exception, don’t we?

For me, a woman whose baby-making days are done and done, I found “Pushing Motherhood” an elegant, eye-opening film made personal through the stories of Sybil and Linda. I really never knew just how trying the fertility battle of an older mother can be. For younger women, this film should be an inspiration, a reminder of what a miracle conception is, and how even the best efforts of the most skilled scientists and doctors can fail at mimicking what nature does. That, and girls, you’ve been warned. If you wait until you’re 40, it could be a lot harder than just throwing your birth control pills away.

Pushing Motherhood Trailer:

Pushing Motherhood from Tempo Entertainment on Vimeo.

On My Way To School by Sarah Maizes (Children’s Book Review)

School.

We’ve been back at it for a month now, and the bloom is off the rose. Every weekday morning there are groans and whining instead of bounces and enthusiasm like there were during the first few days of school.

While Sarah Maizes’ latest book in the On My Way To… series came out before school started, I am finding that it is useful now that school is a daily reality that has sunk in, however unwelcome.

omwts

It seems funny to review a children’s book, but our kids have preferences for certain things just like we do, right? The best way I have figured out how to discover my own boys’ tastes is just to to put piles of books under their noses and see which ones they pick up again and again. It was easy when they were babies and I read them Goodnight Moon every single day and night. They had no choice. But once they got older and actually started learning how to read, well, let’s just say they expressed their opinions with no reasonable doubt.

That’s why I hoped and prayed that they would love the series by Sarah Maizes. She is my friend and colleague, and she has persevered against all odds (i.e. the intimidating world of book publishing) to publish not one but now three children’s books inspired by her own daughter Livi who stalls and hems and haws when forced to go to things like bed, a bath, and now school.

On My Way To School is the fantastical journey of a little girl who doesn’t want to go to school. “School is for people who need to learn stuff. I have gone to school and hundred times and I already know lots of stuff,” declares Livi. Boy, have I heard that one before.

Turning the mundane, routine task of getting out of bed and getting dressed for school into an adventure filled with snails, pirates, kangaroos, a red carpet, and more, Maizes channels Livi into a story that can help kids wrap their little minds around going to school. Michael Paraskevas’ colorful and imaginative illustrations will hopefully inspire them to create their own adventures out of otherwise ordinary days.

This book is perfect for my 7-year-old who is just getting a handle on reading, and loves the pictures and the story. He creates fantasy worlds for himself all the time, and can, no doubt, relate.

I think I’ll put it under his pillow and hope he awakes with a sense of adventure for school that he receives by osmosis during the night.

On My Way To School
by Sarah Maizes
$14.29 on Amazon

Doomsday Kitchen: “Meals in a Jar” Cookbook

meals in a jar cover

I’ll admit first off that I thought Meals in a Jar sounded like a FANTASTIC idea, sort of along the lines of Dream Dinners. I imagined a book of step-by-step recipes that would end up in a jar, only to be brought out sometime later when I run out of fresh ingredients and I want to prepare a quick meal that was home-prepared without all those pesky chemical preservatives.

That’s what I got. Sort of. And so much more.

I’ll admit also that this book is not for me. But since I’m not the only person who reads this site, I had to share it with you because a) you might be interested and b) I thought it was fascinating that there are people who do these things in real life.

Meals in a Jar by Julie Languille is not just a cookbook. Oh no. It is also a very lovingly prepared instruction manual for how to feed yourself and all of your nearby survivors in the event of an apocalypse. It’s impressive – Languille teaches you how to can and dehydrate food and how much to prepare and how long it will last. She includes recipes like Cream of Asparagus Soup and Braised Chicken and Mushrooms and White Chocolate Cranberry Cookies.

I was disappointed, actually, because I kind of want to make Tamarind-Braised Pork Ribs, but I don’t want to make it for 8 people three weeks after a massive zombie attack. I would rather travel to Languille’s house on Whidbey Island in Washington state with what’s left of my family’s canned goods as a peace offering and hope she invites us to stay for dinner. I suppose that after the power goes out we will need a sailboat. My husband will come in handy there.

Okay, I suppose I shouldn’t be so flippant about it – next year is the 20th anniversary of The Big One – the Northridge Earthquake that turned the power off for much of Los Angeles for quite a while. If I had a bunch of meals in a jar, a stash of propane, and a full 50-gallon water drum, we would be just fine.

And Languille does publish the meal planning website DinnersinaFlash.com, where “normal” recipes like Healthy Apple Chicken can be found for free and a lot more is available to members.

If you live in a place that is at risk of hurricanes, floods, and blackouts, AND you are not afraid of phrases like “retort pouches,” then this is the cookbook for you!