6 Awesome “No Soliciting” Signs For Your Front Door


Next time I move (and I never want to move again, but in this world that is real vs. the imaginary one in my brain I suppose that someday we will move again) I vow to not live within easy walking distance of a main road, even in lovely little Agoura Hills. We live close enough to TO that we get the craziest door-to-door salespeople hawking solar panels, magazine subscriptions, security systems, vacuum cleaners, and even shit. Yes, that’s what I said. Manure for the grass, which is shit.

I don’t mind when our neighbors’ kids come by to sell Girl Scout Cookies, which is much like the rest of the world. And I feel bad for the people who are trying to make a living this way, but not bad enough to say “no” or to motion through the window that I am sick with a contagious disease or to not answer the door at all.

But yesterday a saleswoman put me over the edge to the point when I had to write this. A young lady tried the whole “how much do you spend on electricity every month?” pitch on me and I stopped her mid-sentence saying “We don’t want solar, please don’t try to sell it to me,” and for the rest of our encounter she gave me this disdainful, sarcastic face and kept pushing and pushing her point and wouldn’t go away so that I finally just closed the door on her.

I am a nice person. Until I’m not. I realized it might help to put a “no soliciting” sign on the front door, so I did a little search and most of them were just lame. Here are six that I loved:

No Soliciting Sign babycenterFrom a Babycenter forum

no-soliciting crazyFrom Gun Free Zone

no-soliciting-neighborsFrom Brower Creek

stompyouv1-500x500From Outlaw Biker Customs

imgur no solicitingFrom some guy on Imgur who says “So my wife got tired of people ignoring our No Soliciting sign”

soliciting lotteryFrom Lil Blue Boo