Girl Scout Cookies: How To Decide Which Girl Scout Gets Your Business

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As the parent of elementary school-aged children, I have no less than 1,839 Girl Scouts in a 2-mile radius who are all dying to sell me some Girl Scout cookies. They are adorable, enterprising, and whether or not they are spurred on by ambitious parents, all they have to say is “Want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?” and my stomach starts to rumble and my mouth waters. I mean, who can resist a Tagalong or seven?

This is how many Girl Scouts we know.

But if I bought even just one box from every Daisy or Girl Scout who comes to the door, or whose mom posts her sale on Facebook complete with an iMovie trailer, or who ambushes me (sweetly, even) outside the grocery store, well, I’d be unhealthy and poor. So I have to make my purchase choices wisely.

If we treat Girl Scout cookie sellers like any other business, the lowest bidder with the most quality product and customer service would get the sale. But how can you know all those things? If you find yourself in this situation, perhaps you can use some of these suggestions to determine the lucky vendor from whom you will buy your cookies this year:

Girl Scout Cookie Sales Challenges

Take Bids

shark-tank

Invite all the Girl Scouts to your home or office and have them present their product a la Shark Tank

Lip Synch Battle

lip synch battle

Only one can be the winner. Sorry girls, it’s always Jimmy Fallon. Is he selling Thin Mints?

Bubble Suit Race

bubble suit

First one across the finish line gets your money.

Girl Scout Cookie Jenga

ellen jenga fail

Play the game with boxes of cookies. But in heats to eliminate contenders one by one.

Dance Off

maggie simpson

Best Whip-Nae Nae does not get my purchase. I hate that song.

Role Play Contest

selling

The Scouts go through cookie sales training and role-play so they get their pitch down pat. Which sales pitch is the best? This one unloads your supply of cookies for the year.

Obstacle Course

double dare

Put all the Scouts in a maze, obstacle course, or escape room. Whoever wins is the fastest, cleverest, or most athletic, and will get your cookies into your face.

Be a Sucker

cookie monster

Or you can just do it like I do it. The first time someone says “Want to buy some Girl Scout cookies?” say, “Sure.” Buy them and eat them right away. Do the same thing for the next month or so until you run out of money and question your life choices.

 

Comments

  1. You are brilliant and hilarious.

    I’ll be fat and broke with you. As a former girl scout, I can never tell them know. Good thing Thin Mints freeze so well. 🙂

  2. I have an all-or-nothing relationship with the cookies. I’ve sold them. I’ve eaten them. I’ve binged them. Now I donate them to the troops and move on. If I eat one, I must eat 20, and I just can’t let that happen. I once gained 4 pounds from those freakin’ lemon cookies alone.

    So relieved little L opted NOT to join the GS this year!!!!

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